1:11 - Are you where you are meant to be right now? How can you tell if you are not?

Are you where you're meant to be right now? How can you tell if you're not? If you ever wonder about that? You are in good company. Fatima is asking these questions. And I have made major academic and career changes in university as result of these questions. isten in as we discuss, and nadvertently reveal an intimate tory I had buried for over 15 ears.

You are listening to diverse software engineers podcast, which inspires engineers to serve clients better, break glass ceilings and enjoy lucrative work. Your hosts are Eric Lau, Chief consultant at Brainy Butlers Solutions and atima Agheli, up and coming engineer. We focus on the soft essential skills which engineers, managers and clients need to upgrade the software projects.

Hey, Fatima at this oint in the podcast, we've done bout 10 episodes now, I elieve. What are your thoughts?

Wow, it's been 10 episodes already. Unexpected Time really flies? Yeah, thought the podcast has bee really fun so far. And I' really enjoying it. And I thin I'm personally learning a lot Yeah, I think it's been reall good so far. What things that you found most helpful? in this degree and field in general, I think I've noticed that. There's a lot of advice out there. And a lot of it is usually about the same. But I think some things that have like stood out for me or have been a lot more interesting. Were the one episode we did, for example, on alternatives to the formal degree that you'd get like the normal four year degree. I thought that episode was quite interesting, because I actually learned a lot there, especially about the camp. I had no idea that you could go and do a camp like that and learn a lot in only a couple of months alongside the mental health episode. We did just last time, the previous episode was very interesting as well, because I feel like just in general, it's not as much spoken about in this degree. When it comes to like the mental health and distress.

Yeah, the mental aspect. I was actually very fortuitous to get Karthik ecause we lost touch. Like last ime we were to talk in general w s 2019. lol is he? Yeah, it s 2019.

Wow

Like October or something? Yeah. So it wasn't a while ago. And for me, meeting again, and then finding out that he had a kid which by the way, I see he's trying not to emphasize it. But at the time, he was talking about how his health doesn't is not great. doesn't feel well. I should have got the clue that he was burnt out. But I didn't. He didn't present it like that. Here's the thing. Y'all need to be healthier. eat healthier. Yeah. Right. Because he there he's having trouble is why we're having difficulty trying to conceive a child. I was very happy to hear that they have a kid. So that was actually a thing that you may not know about Karthik. Second thing is that He then told me that he was on leave. And then he just dawned on me that about mental health. I've been thinking about that. And I actually can say, I feel a little bit burnt out, too. There are times lately where I am just not as enthused about working, nor doing coding, which I used to enjoy. I wouldn't say I'm nearly at the level that conflict is I'm not. I am saying that I'm definitely looking forward to my vacation of more than I normally would. And I just really needed that that getaway is now coming to me mid July. But for me, it's like it can't come soon enough. And I usually feel that it's not that often. I feel that way. But I really felt it. Like lately.

Speaking of feeling burnt out, and I was thinking a lot about last week's episode. And I was wondering, do you Do you ever feel like we're like, do you ever do you know the difference between the feeling of being burnt out or the feeling of just not belonging? Like maybe you're starting to realize that you don't belong in this industry? Like do you know that what the difference would be or like what's inside To be?

Oh, that's a very good question. Because I had that feeling while I was in pre med. Remember, before I went to communication when I want, my parents really want me to be a doctor and I fought I did to the, there are a number of sides. This is not something like one rica moment that you knew. But for me. I remember being in biochemistry, and I just hated it. I just hated biochem I did not want to study I didn't really cared about it. And also went to pre med club in Simon Fraser, they had a pre med club. And the more often I went, the more I didn't like the people there. I don't like the mentality. I don't like the fact God complex is actually pretty prevalent in those who want to go to medical school. This kind of sort of building up and if there was one thing that really put me over the edge was one day, I found out from premed that one of the members committed suicide.

sorry to hear that.

Yeah. She, I mean, she was one of the nicest people in that club. She was, like, drop ead gorgeous, like I was ctually had a crush on her and . And I was actually onsidering asking her out. And hen final, she committed uicide. No one saw it coming. o one saw it coming. Everyone hought that grades are good. he seemed happy. No one saw it oming. Wow. So I started to get little emotional thinking bout that. Because that moment as essentially the the straw hat broke the camel's back. hat point I, I just didn't eally care of my parents. What s approve of me? I knew that's ot what I want to do. I ouldn't do I couldn't do what y grades started suffering of ood reason. And I decided to hange my major to ommunication.

Sorry, I just want to say the other must have, there must have been a lot to take in at the time. I can imagine that be very draining on everyone around her as well.

Yeah. So at that point, for me, that was pretty clear to me at that point that it's not just burnout because I I have the energy. And when I switch to communication, as I was studying it, I pretty much instantly felt better. I started applying more grades, grades got better. It'd be like my grades were ever really bad. But I just didn't have it. I didn't have that curiosity. Yeah, yeah. So So to me, that's what I knew what he wasn't burned out. And it's it's relatively rare for burned out and especially if you're really young, like if you're in your 20s unless you're in some extraordinary circumstances. And the reason I say that is that the biggest case of burnout I usually work burnout is, is usually when you are in a grind. Like you're hopping away, Karthik will mention like he was in a grind, like working is one long, long, long. So when he said that, right is stretches the words like long grind, even endure a lot of things. It was relatively a short time, like even immense pain, or suffering. Most people could do it for a short amount of time. But if the lessee is not immediate pain, they're not acute pain or chronic pain. But it was chronic pain for a long period of time, like years and years. Yeah, that's the kind of stuff that we think can cause burnout and really get to you mean, all I'm saying it can happen to younger people. But I think in general, it's hard to even know what is it that you're passionate about in your 20s? So I guess your point is we it's not that easy to differentiate between the two, a change of career or what you study may make sense. And it goes down to how much D Are you excited about doing a new thing. So for example, I'll give you this example. I remember when it first even contemplated my go into communication. I remember just picking up our communication book, right just to get a syllabus syllabus here. And I remember actually reading a chapter of it on my own windows textbook like on my own while I'm still haven't officially changed my computer yet. It goes back to that thing I said earlier right? Like you know, you want to check you want to be a game designer, you want to check out podcast, you wanna check out things that have to do with game design. Like, are you excited about doing those so you'll do those insight gives you the same, a different totally different mg vibe, then what you're what you're currently doing, if they're both the same, like if nothing excites you, if nothing exciting, nothing gets you even the thing that you you most want these things, then then it's more likely as a burned out.

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